Wednesday, December 9, 2009

It's the Final Countdown!

We officially know the baby will make his appearance sometime in the next two weeks!

We know this because at our Dr appt this morning, where he informed me I have had absolutely ZERO progress, doc said he wouldn't let the baby cook past Christmas. How comforting. Oh wait, nope, I forget, I was totally distrought. Just the last few days, I think I've been having a pity party for myself. Not that I'm completely miserable being 10 months pregnant, because it really isn't that bad. I think it's just hitting me that I won't be here:

with any of these guys:

for:and that's never happened before.

It depresses me to think of Nate and I (and maybe a brand new baby that we won't know what to do with) in the desert, with no snow, by ourselves, and nothing to do.

Or perhaps I'm depressed because this weekend we are supposed to be here

at Utah State, for Nate's graduation. I cried when Nate told me it was this weekend. I'd like to say it's just crazy pregnant hormones, but it felt like the cherry on top of nothing going my way. He has already been mailed his actual paper degree, and he says that's all that matters, that paper got him a job. But I really, really wanted him to get to go to his own graduation. He says it wouldn't be any different than mine, but it is, because he would be getting hooded for his Master's also, and I think that's pretty special. Plus, I'm quite sure this is the only time he will be graduating from college! Although it is currently about 2 degrees in Logan, I would give anything for us to get to be there. Even if Nate says he doesn't care, I'd still appreciate the closure I'd gain from watching him graduate. An engineer's wife should get a degree just to say their marriage survived (all nighters on campus, never having dinner together, etc).

I'm not trying to gain any pity votes, I'm just hoping getting this off my chest will brighten my attitude a little. Yoga, long walks, and even holiday treats only temporarily satisfy. Perhaps if I were better at keeping a journal, I wouldn't have to bore unexpecting bloggers with my woes. I really don't have anything to complain about; we have a good life here in Ridgecrest, and are so thankful for all that we have. There is a healthy baby about to change our lives forever, and I should be greatful to be able to experience this life-changing event at such a special time of year. I'm sure I will look back at this post one day and scoff at how silly I seemed. This could very well turn out to be the most special Christmas we will ever have. I need to just remember that we were blessed to get pregnant when we did, and the Lord has everything in sight for us. So here's to me bucking up. Hopefully.

16 comments:

hilary said...

just let it all out! i know exactly how you feel living away from home and all. (can't tell you how many times i've felt that way actually...) BUT i can tell you that i've also felt like i would never ever trade the experience of living away from home and family for 3 1/2 years. it has been such a great experience that i will never forget. but we all have our moments so that's why i'm just telling you to just let it all out, friend! sometimes venting is therapeutic and just what you need!

ok, didn't mean to go off on a very long rant there. :) hope all is well with you and the babe!! i can't wait to see/read/hear all about his arrival!

mytee sooperox said...

I cried on September 30, 2006 because I really wanted a September baby. No one in Dave's nor my immediate families has a birthday in September and I wanted my baby to be unique. It seemed so tragic at the time. Well no one has a birthday in January either but I'm not going to cry on January 31th, but I might cry on Valentine's Day.

I agree with engineers wives getting an honorary degree. Being married to an engineering student was as bad as being a student myself. There was a whole month where Jon only saw Dave on weekends while Dave was writing his thesis.

deidra said...

I doubt it will help, but for all it's worth, I just checked the weather. -10 currently. And for some reason we don't have hot water. (What?! Another stupid apartment problem? Is that house on your street still for sale?)

I wish I could give you and your belly a great big hug and cry together. Is there a way Nate could walk at spring commencement? Maybe then you could get your closure and baby boy could be in the pictures, too!

Megan said...

So shall we put together a graduation ceremony? I'm sure someone might have a Utah state hood, and if not, we have one from Caltech... There's a stage at church and people who'd come. I'd even use my best announcer voice. I'm here to serve compassionately! *wink*

Rachel said...

I'm loving Megan's idea. There are even some doctorals that can hood him! It'd be fun! We could have some speeches about how great engineering is and how we can go out in the world and make a difference, yadda yadda yadda.

I'm glad Dr. M is going to make the baby come whether he likes it or not! Come out, come out wherever you are!

Megan said...

You should have your baby ON Christmas. Then he and Ross could be the best of friends. And it is okay so have these feelings. I can only imagine that is how I would be being pregnant and far away from everyone. And yes, Logan is FREEZING cold. But lets remember that when I was pregnant with Anna, I slept with the window open. Ross thought I was trying to kill him, but to a pregnant woman, it feels so good ;)

kim said...

I'm all for holding your own graduation ceremony. I've been to Nick's and mine...there's no speeches, its just walking up and getting hooded...and you do it all in a big line (hooding) so I didn't even get good pictures of Nick's because he was 2nd in line...so don't feel bad. I agree with Deidra...-10 is a good reason to stay away. Plus you'd hate to go into labor at the graduation (having said that Nate might enjoy having a baby born in the Spectrum! :)....

I've lived on the opposite side of the country for the past 10 years...its not fun but it does make you more independent and more reliant on your spouse....hang in there!!!! They say you look back on these things and laugh...but not always...I say its good to go ahead and cry and get it out of your system!

Three Men and a Janie said...

I was just flooded of memories when I was overdue with Mac and had all those anxious, depressed feelings. I know it probably doesn't help to know that you are not alone in this, but I thought I'd share anyway! Looking back now, I think the baby is a lot easier inside the belly than out. So maybe that will help! Take care you guys. And congrats to Nate for his long-distance graduation!

Jenni said...

You got on a plane in California when you were two days old and came to Utah. Come on...carry on the tradition with your child. Airports are a lot less crowded on Christmas Day and flights are less expensive. Can't wait for the baby!

Steph and Brady said...

Oh I am sorry that you don't get to be home for Christmas. At least you are going to have such a wonderful Christmas gift! I can't wait to see picures and I hope everything goes great for you guys!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...Jenni's comment is funny. And true. You may not remember, but we do. You're being depressing, Sara. I'm sorry you're sad, but we'll come visit you and the giraffe...I mean zebra...and take some more pictures and you'll be happy again. Yay! Oh, and 10 MONTHS PREGNANT? That sounds like it would suck big time. I see why you're upset.

Jamie said...

Good luck with the new baby. Maybe he'll be born on the 20th (that's when I had PResley). It sure is hard being pregnant in December, but also really special...hang in there!

Kym, Shaun and Riley said...

I'm sorry that you're a little homesick. It was SO GOOD to talk to you yesterday! It's been WAAAAYYYY too long! And it's okay if you have a little "pity" party for yourself. Sometimes we girls just need it. And I DEFINITELY think that you deserve a degree for making it through Nate's schooling!!

And, I think Logan Fuller is my vote for the name. You make sure Nate see this! He would get 1000 points or maybe even more!!!

Anonymous said...

Sara,

Women go through crazy stuff to get these little humans here! but... When he finally makes his big appearance you will feel so much relief and pure joy!

Hang tough... like the New Kids on the Block say and you will be in my thoughts and prayers!

You are awesome!
Love ya,
Zara

n8'swife said...

Nate and I would for sure attend a cultural hall graduation and I'd even make refreshments!!

That Darn said...

Hi Sara,

Nate's cousin Colette here, we've met before a few times. I live in Seattle and wanted you to move up this way.

Anyway, I like your post, not b/c it is depressing but because it is very real and most people can relate in some way or another. You'll look back on this time and instantly feel the anguish you are feeling right now. The only thing you can do is "keep on diggin". So wake up tomorrow morning and you'll go through another day and then a month will pass (and the awful, horrendous period of nursing a child for the first few weeks).

Since, I am writing a book anyway, I'll tell you I think you should have Nate march in spring graduation, it's been done before.

Take Care and best of luck!
Colette